


WOY Mini-Fic-A-Thon 2017 - Whoever Said There's Nothing New Under the Sun

by 3amepiphany



Series: WOY Mini Fic-A-Thon 2017 [5]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, you might be able to get another ship out of this if you so please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 19:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9252050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amepiphany/pseuds/3amepiphany
Summary: And other things break down too, so let's go down together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> http://omegalovaniac.tumblr.com/post/155582684229/could-you-write-a-jellyfish-pi-oneshot-about-the

Sylvia looked at him over her cup of tea, and he side-eyed her for just a moment before looking back over at the rest of party on the lawn of the castle. The reception was well underway; the cake had just been cut, dessert was being served up and the dancing would start soon, and she was considering a glass of wine from the open bar. She hoped she could bribe Peepers to get her one in exchange for answering the question, but he was already on it. He put his napkin down on the table and leaned back in his chair comfortably, obviously getting ready to tell this story. She figured she could wait until the attendants came around and ask for one then.

“We were actually married twice,” he said, and this got odd looks from everyone there. Even Wander.

Argos blinked excitedly and asked in awe, “Did… did you have _two_ parties?”

“Well, no.”

“How did you get married twice?” asked Hater, helping Iris finish the last of her salad while trying to finish his own; the bargain was a bite for a bite and she put a carrot on a fork up to her mouth, waiting for him to take his next bite with a small look of agony on her face. “Did it not go as planned the first time? Had to do it again?”

Wander nudged him under the table, gently. “When did you get married the second time? It wasn’t after Jeff, was it?”

“No, no,” Peepers said, waving a hand. “It was before it, before any of that got planned. It was when we took that holiday after Hater’s birthday, and got stuck on that one weird little planet with the dust storms.”

“Oh, uh. Pofloria?”

“That’s it.”

“.....You got married a year after you got married.”

“How come you didn’t have two parties?” Argos asked, flustered, but only for a few seconds before an attendant snuck his empty dinner plate away and replaced it with one that had a slice of cake on it. Peepers denied a plate but asked for an extra fork and a glass of wine with a pointed look at Sylvia. She smiled at him and asked for a glass as well, and extra slice of cake. They watched as Hater and Iris rushed to finish their salads, and both thanked the attendants with their mouths full, comically.

Theá laughed at this, and happily dug into her cake as Lucida asked, “Why did you guys get married twice, though?”

“Because we’re gross and we love each other so much that we decided to get Super-Married,” Sylvia said, and it elicited a chorus of groans and grumblings from all of the kids.

Armed to help Argos with his dessert, Peepers shook his head. “Your mother and I got trapped on this planet that had this massive dust storm happening. It was bad.”

And it had been. They arrived with the expectation of a nice beach trip away from the confines of the Skullship, and had no idea that an overdue cycle of storms was gearing up to hit the resort and strand them for several more days than they’d anticipated. Dust and debris flew everywhere, at speeds that made flying dust and debris dangerous. They couldn’t leave the hotel, as the atmospheric biome kept failing intermittently, and it wasn’t until the eye of the storm was passing overhead that they saw blue sky.

“Sounds as romantic as you thought it was gonna be.” Carefully, Wander helped Lucida scrape all the extra frosting she didn’t want to eat off of her cake. “Right?”

“Right, well. As we watched sunlight finally appear, we went down to the lobby with a lot of the other people on vacation there, to look at what was going on. And I got this really weird feeling and asked Sylvia if she wanted to get married right then and there, forget the date we had planned.”

“Eww,” said Hater. “That’s almost as gross as getting Super-Married.”

“Almost. But it gets grosser. She must have been feeling the same way, so she said yes. Now, Pofloria allows self-unifying ceremonies provided we have something close to a license issued and notarized, which I can do pretty quickly with a post-it note, my notary stamp, and the bureaucratic diplomacy of… uh... owning the planet.” Hater beamed at that a bit while the sisters all rolled their eyes and looked at their mom, who rolled her eyes too and stuck out her tongue, wiggling her head a bit. “We’re both capable of being officiants, so we’re standing in what's left of this hotel courtyard for the moment, and just sort of mumble, ‘We now pronounce us husband and wife,’ and that was that. Our witness was one of the servers from the restaurant, who sent us back to our room with celebratory grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and extra blankets and coffee.” And wine, too, he seemed to add wordlessly as he looked at his own glass of the stuff.

“The storm rolled back over us and we made the best blanket fort ever until it was all done and we could get home safely.”

“Your mom builds the best blanket forts I’ve ever seen,” Wander said, and there was a loud agreement from the kids. There was the announcement from the DJ that the newlyweds were taking the floor for their first dance together, and there was applause as the couple waved their way out to the dancefloor and the music started. There were a lot of photos being taken and Lucida was watching, enchanted. “So the ceremony that Jeff did, was that more like a renewal of vows?”

“Was it cheesy like what King Cashmere was saying?” Iris asked.

Theá shook her head. “That wasn’t cheesy at all, that’s stuff they say in all the books where people get married. It’s really sweet and nice.”

“Yeah, but it’s still cheesy. When I get married i’m not gonna tell my wife how pretty she is, I’m gonna tell her that she’s super cool.”

Hater leaned over with a silly grin. “You’re gonna marry a girl?”

“I’m gonna marry all the girls. And boys too. I don’t care who I marry, Uncle Hatey. They just gotta be super cool and want to get married. Maybe even Super-Married if they’re really really super cool.”

“Goals,” he said, putting a hand out for her to low-five, and she put her fork down just to low-five that hand hard.

“I don’t know that it was a renewal if we didn’t really say vows the first time around. But we told Jeff before the ceremony that we’d already had the paperwork done and all he did was request to see it and confirm it because that’s what you do as an officiant. He was really cool with it and said he’d still do his best because, well, Syl’s family was there for it, some of mine was. Things were ordered and paid for. You know. The whole bit.” The song ended and everyone applauded again as Beeza took a moment to thank King Draykor and Queen Demurra for having hosted them for so long as guests, and now for hosting their wedding, before inviting the rest of the party out to the dancefloor. An upbeat, celebratory song started playing and tables started emptying to join the fun.

“So Uncle Jeff married you like Uncle Wander married King Cashmere and Queen Beeza, Momma?” Lucida had finished her cake quickly so she could watch the newlyweds dance, and was now leaning on Sylvia and being sweet, obviously, so Sylvia offered her the last few forkfuls of cake from her plate.

“He did,” she said. “We got married by a Dudeist Monk - Uncle Jeff - and the party afterwards was a big one. It was like we took two whole parties and crammed it into one.”

“But you didn’t _have_ two parties,” Argos said, putting his fork down and going to wipe at his face with his sleeve.

“Ah-ah, buddy, napkin,” Peepers said, and Argos stopped, and looked for his napkin, making a production out of using it. “You’re right, we didn’t have two parties. This was one big party to make up for not having two big parties.”

“Oh. Was there dancing?”

“There was.”

“Did Uncle Hatey dance?”

“I did. Uncle Wander made me dance.” Hater said, sneaking a bite of cake from Wander, who was just about finished.

“I wanna go dance.”

Hater stood up, and excused himself by way of saying, “Argos is making me dance.” The sisters asked to be excused too, squeezing out of their chairs and pleading with Wander, who let himself be led to the big dancefloor by them, holding his Hat down as he went.

Peepers leaned on Sylvia, sipping at his wine and being sweet on her, obviously, so she pulled the extra slice of cake over so that he could have a final bite before she ate the rest. “Do you think we downplayed how scary that storm was?” he asked, watching their little family celebrate.

“Nah, I think what was said was okay.”

“Because it was scary.”

“I know. I was there. I got married to some nerd during that storm.” She looked down at him and smiled, wiggling her eyebrows. “Made me a little less scared, you know?”

“Did it?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh,” Peepers said happily. “Good. Same here.”


End file.
